Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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