I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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