JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
