Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
