if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are my feet made of real feet?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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