The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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