nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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