I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
we should paint friendship bongs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize