i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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