No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
