she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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