talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
