You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
