is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
