I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
