It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She needs sedatives and a leash
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
