Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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