weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
do herpes really smell.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
