It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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