She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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