ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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