I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
