Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
