I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
