she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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