Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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