So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Shame is for Republicans.
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