I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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