is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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