no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
