I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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