At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
