why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
