you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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