What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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