Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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