are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
