Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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