i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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