hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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