If i come over, it means nothing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
