I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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