I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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