guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize