I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Welp...herpes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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