take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
