On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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