The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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