if you like me you must not know who I am
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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