I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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