Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
