sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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