I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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