I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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