if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When are your genitals available?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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