He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize