He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
