Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
