dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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