Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
